The One Confrontation Question You Must Ask

You can view short two-minutes video message takeaways here

I don’t like confrontation, do you? As uncomfortable as conflict is, there is an opportunity to reveal something important about our self and about others and you don’t want to miss it (Gen 31).

The Confrontation (v. 22-35). Legitimate needs conflict and sometimes collide! Whether trying to avoid or engage in confrontation, be sure to take Jesus with you. You’ll need Him.

You don’t have to take offense you choose to be offended and can choose not to be. Look for the “why?” But, if you can’t “let it go” go out of your way to confront your offender (Pro. 25:8-9).

The offended often become offenders – hurt people hurt people. When we deal with being offended in an unhealthy way, we can become a threat to those we claim to care about the most.

We’re vulnerable to Satan’s attacks when we choose to be offended or confront without God’s help (Jam 4:1, 5-7, Eph. 4:26-27, 2 Cor. 2:10-11). Your greatest artillery is an attitude of humility.

Like Jacob, there may be times when secrecy is necessary for safety. Those who flee need support and reassurance that Jesus is with them every step of the journey (Psa. 46:1, John 1:48).

The Complaint (v. 36-43). Your best defense in any verbal confrontation is a clear conscience.

When we act upon God’s will others might not agree with it. You can stand with confidence against complaints and accusations when you’re sure you’ve committed no offense (Acts 24:16).

Anger surfaces when hurt or buried feelings smolder. Anger reveals deeper emotions that are at the heart of the issue: Indignities, injuries, and the idols. Don’t be surprised, just be prepared.
 
Sometimes the uncomfortable things need be said – they help us understand the other point of view and clarify ours. We can help take some of the steam out of conflicts when we seek to be a STAR*: (*acronym not original, source unknown)

Stop. Stop yourself from saying or doing something that will cause more conflict unnecessarily.
Think. Plan what you want to appeal and why. Think of respectful verbal and non-verbal means.
Appeal. With humility ask questions, state facts without accusations – explain your side not theirs.
Respect. Accept that you might not agree. Throw the conflict away or continue the conversation.

The Covenant (v. 44-55). Trust is the currency for strong relationships. When selfishness defines one or both parties in conflict, don’t be surprised when the separation is marked by suspicion.

Parting on poor terms is not the best way to end a relationship, but it may be the only way this side of heaven. The hypocrite gets a few last digs, the humble choose wisely to quietly move on.

God was there during this confrontation – He promises to be there for yours too (Mt 18:20). Here’s your opportunity, don’t miss it: Will I conceal or reveal what Jesus did at Calvary (2 Cor. 5:18-21)?  

Let’s Take the Message Home:

1.When you get offended what is the reason that seems to reoccur (the why). Are there healthier ways to respond? Write them down. If you’re a hurt person who hurts others, get some help.

2.Revisit some past confrontations. If you had used the STAR process, how might your part in the conflict been handled better? Which of the four steps do you need to ask for God to help?

3.Do your conflicts tend to reveal or conceal Jesus at Calvary? Why? What can you commit to personally that would foster humility and reduce hypocrisy while also exalting Calvary.