Wednesday's Two-Minute Takeaway - Confrontation

From Genesis 31:36-43

Your best defense in any verbal confrontation is a clear conscience. Laban has confronted and accused Jacob falsely. It's time to have that difficult conversation.

When we act upon God’s will others might not agree with it. You can stand with confidence against complaints and accusations when you’re sure you’ve committed no offense (Acts 24:16).

Anger is what surfaces when hurt or buried feelings smolder. Anger reveals deeper emotions that are at the heart of the issue: Indignities, injuries, and the idols. Don’t be surprised, just be prepared.
 
Sometimes the uncomfortable things need be said – they help us understand the other point of view and clarify ours. We can help take some of the steam out of conflicts when we seek to be a STAR*: (*I heard this acronym years ago and adapted it - author unknown)

Stop. Stop yourself from saying or doing something that will cause more unnecessary conflict. Carefully weigh whether it really needs to be said, and if so, how to say it.

Think. Plan what you want to appeal and why. Think of respectful verbal and non-verbal means. The goal is clear communication not to win an argument. Be honest and kind.

Appeal. With humility ask questions, state facts without accusations – explain your side not theirs. State the facts and feelings as you see it and allow them the same courtesy.

Respect. Accept that you might not agree. Throw the conflict away or continue the conversation. We'll see next time you might just have to walk away with no more contact.

Let's Take the Message Home:

Revisit some past confrontations. Was your conscience clear? If you had used the STAR process, how might your part in the conflict been handled better? Which of the four steps do you need to ask for God to help?